So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
