WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize