Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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