Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
