Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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