He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
