I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
