one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize