We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
