Me too!
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
