Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
