Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
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