there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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