All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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