So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
