i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize