trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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