My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
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