oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize