he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
