I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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