she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
did you just send me my own nude
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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