I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
