Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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