wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
