So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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