is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
