the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
