god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
