one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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