dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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