Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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