My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
