worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
