i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
She announced her abortion via fbk
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He told me they were just razor bumps!
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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