I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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