we have officially lost it.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
bring money and cleavage
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Woke up backwards on a recliner
My vagina is officially offended.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
