i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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