In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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