that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
