found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Oh god it's open bar.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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