Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I lost the right to judge tonight
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
