I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
