your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Are my feet made of real feet?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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