How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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