I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
ttyl tear gas
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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