I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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