So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
