i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
