There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Is it because I queefed?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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