dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
