it wasn't lemon gatorade
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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