Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
i think im in europe. pls send help
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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