The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
