the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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