I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
