Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
