last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize