she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
