Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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