eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Randomize
