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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
