I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
