Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
if only i could text you this smell
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
